Progress

This weekend was a real mixed bag of emotions. I had some ups, and I had some downs. But the overall question that I kept coming back to this weekend was "What the heck am I doing with my life right now?" It's a tough one. My life over the past few years has very little progression. I'm working a menial job, getting by just fine in most of my classes, walking steadily in my faith, and that's about it. There is nothing special about what I do. There is nothing that I can look at and proudly say "Damn right, that's what I can do, and I'm proud of it." I'm stuck. And I feel like I have so many people expecting me not to be stuck. I'm supposed to be the one on the straight shot to the top. I'm supposed to be the one finishing my degree and then going off to my awesome post-college career. I'm supposed to be the one that my parents can look to and be proud of. I'm supposed to be the one who has it all together. I feel like I can't keep up with the "supposed to's" anymore, and all I fear is letting the people around me down. I can't wait to graduate and save up enough money to leave this place. I just want to be gone, in a new place where I can figure out who I really am without all the expectations on me. Where I can head to the mountains for days at a time with my Bible, and not worry about coming back to school or work on Monday. Where I can be me.

Eternally His,

Andrew