BLAH

So I'm pretty sure that nobody reads this thing anymore, but if out there, somebody stumbles across this, this post is going to be a personal one. I'm not trying to hide it, I just wanted to write it down, and this seemed like a good venue for it. It isn't for anyone, it's for me. (I also started writing this post a few weeks ago and kept adding to it as more came to me, so this next section isn't actually from "Last night".)

Last night was one of the best nights I've had out in a very long time. We went down to Blind Lady Ale House (BLAH) for Shade's 25th birthday. I got to hang out with a lot of people that I haven't seen in a while, all from different "circles" of friends, all there to have a good time and celebrate Shade. Towards the end of the night, as the numbers of people in the room were dwindling, a few of us got into a conversation about what we look for in our search for a significant other. What traits, features, etc. we wanted to find in our future spouse. Being a guy, my natural gut reaction was to think about height, a great smile, hair color, all the typical physical features. But then I really started to think about it, and realized that all of those things were just a gut reaction, and not what I was truly looking for.

First and foremost, the thing that I am looking for most in a woman, is for her to be able to say confidently that she is more in love with Jesus than she could ever be with me, or anybody else for that matter. A woman who reverently loves the Lord knows how to love others. Ephesians 5 pretty much lays out what a biblical, Christ-centered relationship should look like. I know that the passages have a way of making people cringe when talking about wives being "submissive" to their husbands, but the way that Matt Hammet at Flood explained it, shined a whole new light on it for me. (This is from an earlier blog post of mine, but I wanted to repost it because it is relevant to what I'm writing about here)

Matt explained submission in a way that made it all make sense in my mind though. While the passage specifically was speaking on husbands and wives, it applies to everyone, regardless of marital status. Submission is supporting the mission of God in the lives of others. It is done out of respect, not inferiority. He then talked about three points of submission.

1. If you are not submitting to those closest to you, you are not submitted to God.
2. Everyone has a role of submission.
3. Worship is the fuel of a life of submission.

We are called to be in submission, or Hupotasso, to Christ out of love and respect for Him. It may seem easy to submit to God, but unless you are also submitting to those closest to you, you are missing the point. Being in submission to the people in your lives is one of the best ways to show God's love to others.

My ideal woman is one that is submissive, in the regard that she respects and supports my life as a mission for God. But as I am looking for a submissive woman, I hope to one day be a sacrificial husband. I want to lead as Jesus showed leadership, through serving. Being a sacrificial servant to my significant other, as our partnership glorifies the only one who matters.

Anyways, like I said, this post was for me. I needed to write it down and develop the thoughts that were in my head. This is who I am, this is what I look forward to, this is my life, living for Christ.

Eternally His,
Andrew

Update

As of right now, I don't know what I want to write about in this post. It's been about 8 months since I've updated this blog, so I guess it's just going to be a list of life updates... Boring I know, but nobody reads this anyway.

1. I am only a few months away from graduating. Seriously. Okay, I still have a summer school class to take, but I will be walking across the stage at SDSU on May 19th at 8am (Really? On a Saturday?)
2. I've started going to a new church, The Resolved, since my last post. This is going to be my longest point, because it's been the biggest blessing in my life lately. It's a tiny church that meets in the Musician's Guild building on Morena, and I'm one of the only non-hipsters that attend. I've never felt a sense of belonging to a church before like I do at The Resolved. I've only been going since November, but already I'm volunteering twice a month to do the A/V for the day, I'm attending an AWESOME community group every Tuesday night, and I just started their 8 week theology/membership class. The Resolved is a part of the Acts 29 church planting network, and is a Calvinist/Reformed Christian Theology church. I'm not going to lie, this kind of turned me off to the church when people told me about it at first. I've met a few Calvinists that have rubbed me the wrong way before, and I thought that there was no way that I would attend a Calvinist church. Honestly though, I had no idea what differentiated a Calvinist from an Arminian from any other kind of Christian (and to be honest, still don't). All I do know is that I have never experienced the Lord working in my life like I have over the last couple of months. I can't find words to explain the peace that He has brought me. It really has been a huge blessing.
3. I'm moving out once I graduate. I have every intention of moving to Denver, CO, but I figure that I should spend some time out of the house here in San Diego while not being supported by my parents for a while before making such a big life change.
4. Started brewing beer. Not much to say here, except that Tasty Sachs is going to make it big one day.

Yeah, that's all I really have to say. I'm sure I could go on more, but I'm tired, and have class in the morning. Life is good. There's not really a whole lot to say other than that.

Eternally His,
Andrew

My Prayer

Lord, help me to overcome my selfishness. I want to love that way You asked me to. I don't want to say another insulting word to or about another person, not even jokingly. I want to shock those around me with Christian love. I want to joyfully sacrifice for the poor, and to see You when I see them. I don't want to fit in anymore. Holy Spirit save me. Set me apart. Make me worthy.

Eternally His,

Andrew

Progress

This weekend was a real mixed bag of emotions. I had some ups, and I had some downs. But the overall question that I kept coming back to this weekend was "What the heck am I doing with my life right now?" It's a tough one. My life over the past few years has very little progression. I'm working a menial job, getting by just fine in most of my classes, walking steadily in my faith, and that's about it. There is nothing special about what I do. There is nothing that I can look at and proudly say "Damn right, that's what I can do, and I'm proud of it." I'm stuck. And I feel like I have so many people expecting me not to be stuck. I'm supposed to be the one on the straight shot to the top. I'm supposed to be the one finishing my degree and then going off to my awesome post-college career. I'm supposed to be the one that my parents can look to and be proud of. I'm supposed to be the one who has it all together. I feel like I can't keep up with the "supposed to's" anymore, and all I fear is letting the people around me down. I can't wait to graduate and save up enough money to leave this place. I just want to be gone, in a new place where I can figure out who I really am without all the expectations on me. Where I can head to the mountains for days at a time with my Bible, and not worry about coming back to school or work on Monday. Where I can be me.

Eternally His,

Andrew

A New Year Cometh

2010 is in it's final days. It's always weird to think back on the year and all the things that happened, both good and bad. This year especially, because there was a lot more bad than good. If you're one of the few people that read this, you probably already know all that I have been through this year. It was rough. Yet when I think about the person that I was at the beginning of the year, and the person that I am now, I can't believe the changes that I see. I feel like a completely different person. The events of this past year have given me no choice but to grow stronger, both emotionally and spiritually. God is preparing me for the upcoming year, and for the rest of my life. In a weird way, I'm thankful for 2010 for helping me to begin changing myself into the man that God knows that I can become. 1 Corinthians 13:11 says "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." God is helping me to become a man and put my old childish ways behind me. I love the person that I'm becoming. God is amazing.

Eternally His,

Andrew

Christmas Break

Well, very quickly, another semester has come and gone. Every semester seems to go by faster and faster. I finished very strong, and although I BARELY need to retake a class (1% away from not having to retake it!) I am proud of myself. I had a rough semester. To start things off, I was dealing with a breakup that was weighing VERY heavily on my heart. Then things got very rough with my sisters and just the whole family overall. It definitely threw me for a loop, and my school work started to suffer for it. But you know what, I turned things around. Might have been too little too late, but whatever.

Things at Church lately have been amazing. I had a great time at the Flood College Community Group's Christmas party. It was a great time just to be able to hang out with my church family, and experience the community that God wants for all of us. Matt has started a new sermon that I think is going to be amazing. It covers Isaiah 9:6, where the prophet Isaiah tells of a child that is to be born (Jesus), who will be called "Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Our Lord is ALL of these things for us, whether we realize it or not. Are you able to come to Him and see Him for all of these things? Our Lord is fighting for us, constantly. Really think about that. Reflect on all of these names that our Lord is called. How is He these things in your life? Because whether or not you really realize it, He is all of them.

I was listening to Something Like Silas tonight, and one of my favorite songs of theirs came up (Words that you Say). Some of their lyrics really spoke to me, and they're posted below.

Can I be an instrument of praise,

And here pursue your heart,

So my life will tell of who you are.

Can I be a channel of your love?

A reflection of your light,

And live to bring you praise

And serve you Lord.

I know that I am far from it, but I yearn to be an instrument of praise, and a channel of His love. I want people to be able to look at my life, and see the love of God pouring out through my actions.

Eternally His,

Andrew

Hupotasso

Last night at church was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Flood is going through the book of Ephesians, and I knew that last night was going to be covering Ephesians 5:22-33. This passage is about husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church, and wives submitting to their husbands. I went in with the mindset that "Well, I'm not married or even dating for that matter, so this isn't going to relate to me at all." Well, I was wrong. This passage used to make me cringe. The word "submit" has such a negative connotation in our society today. It gives off such a "master/slave" feeling. The slave is submissive to his master. It was always such an odd thing to think about, wives submitting to their husbands. Matt explained submission in a way that made it all make sense in my mind though. While the passage specifically was speaking on husbands and wives, it applies to everyone, regardless of marital status. Submission is supporting the mission of God in the lives of others. It is done out of respect, not inferiority. He then talked about three points of submission.

1. If you are not submitting to those closest to you, you are not submitted to God.

2. Everyone has a role of submission.

3. Worship is the fuel of a life of submission.

We are called to be in submission, or Hupotasso, to Christ out of love and respect for Him. It may seem easy to submit to God, but unless you are also submitting to those closest to you, you are missing the point. Being in submission to the people in your lives is one of the best ways to show God's love to others.

Just to touch quickly back on the whole "Husbands and Wives" thing, Mark Driscoll did an amazing sermon on Men and Marriage a while back that goes more into depth on what it means to be the kind of husband that a Godly woman of Christ deserves. He also did a sermon on Women and Marriage that also dives into scripture on the matter. I watched them both about a year ago, and though I couldn't apply it to a marriage, it helped lay the groundwork for the man that I wanted to become so that I could one day be the husband that the Bible calls me to be.

We should all be striving to live a life of Hupotasso, not just to Christ, but to everyone around us. Husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, family, roommates, bosses. Respect those closest to you. Love those closest to you. Submit to those closest to you. In doing so, you are submitting to God.

Eternally His,

Andrew